When Hope Fails
by Doug2
Summary: After Phoebe loses all will to live, she picks up a razorblade and... Please review.


WHEN HOPE FAILS

Another lazy late Sunday evening was passing by at Halliwell Manor. Piper and Phoebe were playing a game of Scramble and arguing whether archaic words from the Book of Shadows could be used. Prue was going over her inventory lists getting ready for big East Asian auction tomorrow at Buckland's.

"WITHER cannot be used; the Scramble instructions say that the words must be current non-foreign words," exclaimed Piper.

Phoebe retorted, "They are used here and now and in this house, so they are modern. That will be 27 points for me."

"Can we keep this discussion down? I don't want to be up until midnight double-checking these figures," requested Prue.

She went back to work while Phoebe gave Piper that one word. Phoebe went into the kitchen for some coffee. While sipping the warm coffee on a chilly autumn evening, she began to think of Dave Johnson, a fellow employee at the Enchantment Bookstore. He was a cute looking redhead with a singular wit. She had dropped several hints at him, but he never picked up the signals. He always seemed a little uncomfortable around her. She figured maybe asking him out at home rather in the awkwardness of work might help. Phoebes looked him up in the telephone directory and went over to the phone. A cold breeze drifted through the kitchen. Phoebe shivered and took the last swallow of coffee from her cup. She wrote down the number and picked up the phone to dial it, but changed her mind.

Slamming the phone down, she thought, "He'll never say yes. He probably thinks I'm a flake anyway. Who needs him!" And she went back into the conservatory to rejoin her sisters. She plopped down in the middle of the floor and started fingering her letters. She and Piper finished their game with Piper actually winning for a change. Before Phoebe went to the kitchen she was fighting over long and obscure words, but afterwards she was just using small short words and didn't seem to have any interest in the game at all.

"Dumb game," Phoebe said so quietly that Piper barely heard her. "I'm heading to bed. Good night!"

"Night, Phoebes!" said Piper.

"Oh, good night, Phoebe," said Prue looking up distracted from her laptop.

"Hmmmm." Piper said wondering out loud about her little sister.

Phoebe went upstairs, had a quick shower and pulled on her nightgown. In her mirror she looked at herself trying to stand up straight and had a look of disgust on her face. Waving her hand at her image just trying to dismiss it, she crawled into bed thoroughly disgusted with herself that night.

In the morning Prue knocked on Phoebes' door with a cheery tone, "Good morning, sleepyhead. Your bus leaves in twenty minutes. You don't want to be late for work. I've got to run. Bye, Phoebes," said Prue with a twinkle in her eye.

"Is it Monday morning. Again?" Phoebes thought to herself. She got up showered, dressed and headed downstairs.

"Morning. How about something to go? I can wrap up a bagel and a thermos of coffee for you," suggested Piper who just put down the morning paper.

"No thanks, I'm LATE again. See you tonight, Piper," Phoebes called out heading out the door.

"Must not have gotten a good night's sleep," thought Piper who finished up and headed off to the club.

At the Enchantment Bookstore, Phoebes walked in and sat down at her desk. Dave Johnson came over and gave her a cheery good morning to which Phoebe barely acknowledged.

"I saw a new band was opening at the New Purple Penguin. (which one of the hottest new clubs in town) Would you be interested in going with me, tonight? I think you're a lot of fun to be with, Phoebe. So what do you say?" asked Dave.

"Naw, no thanks. I got a lot on my mind and I wouldn't be a lot of fun," whined Phoebe.

"Maybe some other time," replied Dave sounding very disappointed.

"Yea, whatever," replied Phoebes. "Why try and start something with me? It'll never go anywhere," Phoebes thought to herself.

That evening, Prue was actually fixing dinner while Piper was looking things over at the club. She was doing her best whipping up an Italian meal and salad for Phoebe and herself. Phoebes came dragging in, her hair a mess and looking despondent.

"Dinner will be ready in a few minutes, Phoebes. How was everything with you today?" Prue inquired.

"Nothing went right. I did everything wrong today and my Boss kept hassling me," complained Phoebe.

"Oh, I'm sorry; your day didn't go well. You don't look good. Are you coming down with something?" asked Prue checking her forehead.

"Naw, I'm all right. Leave me alone, Mother Prue!" said Phoebes pulling away from her attempt to comfort her. "I just don't see any future for me. No good guys. You got Jack, Piper's got Dan. I'm working for $9.50 an hour in some stupid little bookshop with no possibility for advancement."

"I thought you loved working there learning about witchcraft and the occult..." replied Prue worried about her sister.

"You have a career, Piper owns a club, and I'm stuck here doing NOTHING! And on top of that we'll all probably get killed by a demon someday so what's the use? I'm going to bed. GOOD NIGHT!" said Phoebes stomping up the stairs.

"Phoebe had more than a bad day," Prue thought to herself. "If she doesn't even care about her witchcraft, she is in serious trouble."

She went upstairs and found Phoebe fast asleep, not even having undressed. A box of tissues next to her indicated that she had a good cry. Prue covered her with a blanket, kissed her good night and closed the door.

Piper came home very late after her books just wouldn't balance that night. Her cashier had given out too much change and they were short on the receipts. She was very tired and surprised to find Prue up in her robe watching television.

"Aren't we up late, Miss Prue? You are usually not our midnight boob tube watcher," moaned an exhausted Piper.

"Piper, we have a serious problem. Phoebe. She just seems so depressed. She isn't even interested in her magic anymore! She came in this evening complaining about how great our lives are and she was nothing," explained Prue switch off thetelevision.

"That does not sound like Phoebe. She's the optimistic sister and nothing ever fazes her. We have got to talk to her to find out what's bothering her. It must be something drastic for she seemed all right this weekend. I have got to get some sleep. We'll talk to her in the morning. Good night, Prue," said Piper yawning while she went upstairs.

"Sleep well, Piper, love ya," said Prue as she folded her arms around her legs placing her knees under her chin.

"I never did understand her when she was younger and I certainly don't understand what is going on through her head

now. What was wrong with Phoebe?" Prue asked herself.

At breakfast time the next morning, Prue and Piper were eating breakfast when Phoebe walked in wearing one of

her jogging outfits and looking a mess.

"You're going to work looking like that?" said Prue knowing Phoebe was usually dressed at least as well as she was going to work.

"Don't you start hassling me, too! I get enough of that at work. I'm late, I'm outta here. GOOD-BYE!" she cried slamming the back door.

"She didn't even give us a chance to talk to her, " said Piper. "We have got to get her to talk to a Doctor, before it is too late."

"We have to get her to realize what is happening to her first. That won't work unless she is willing to go. I have got to get to work, but tonight we'll glue her to the couch if we have to. Bye, sweetie," waved Prue.

Piper was working in her office at P3 that afternoon when Ken, her cute bartender, knocked on the door.

"Excuse me, Piper, but your sister is at the bar and keeps telling me that she can settle her tab up later with you. She had already had four tequilas in the last ten minutes and she doesn't look well."

"Whoa. I better get out there," said Piper as she ran over to the bar.

There Phoebe sat slumped over the bar well on her way to getting hopelessly drunk.

"Well, looky here. Miss "I own my own place" Pipa Hawlaweth. Had a good day, I supoth," slurred Phoebe.

"Phoebe, what's wrong sweetie? What are you doing here so early? Let me get you home," suggested Piper.

"What am I doin' har? I quit! I dona need that louthy job! I don't nid any louthy succethful sithers reminding me of my own failures! And I dona want to be a WITCH any more! No more blood thucking de-mans and WAR-LUCKS for me!" Phoebe said at the top of her lungs.

"Quiet!" whispered Piper. "I have to work with these people! Please, let me take you home!"

"No, no, no!" said Phoebe belligerently as she was led to Piper's red Cherokee.

Piper tucked her in at home and called Prue at Buckland's.

"I've never seen anyone go down hill so fast," said Prue. "She doesn't care about anything. It's like someone else has possessed our little sister."

"I thought of that. I made up a spirit rock and found no spirits lurking anywhere around the Manor. Just Phoebe was in her room," replied Piper.

"Keep a close eye on her, Piper. I will be home early," stated Prue.

Piper tiptoed upstairs and found Phoebe's door opened and no one inside. The bathroom door was closed and Piper came over and knocked.

"Phoebe, Are you in there? Is everything all right?" Piper called in sweetly. Then she heard a cry of pain and the sound of something hitting the title floor.

"Phoebe, let me in, let me in this instant!" cried Piper. The door was locked and she wasn't strong enough to kick it opened. Oh to have Prue's power or Phoebe's martial arts now! She ran clear to the basement and brought up the crowbar. Placing it in the lock, the door snapped open with a grinding of wood. There in a heap lay Phoebe, who had hit her head on the toilet and was completely unconscious. Blood was gushing from each of her wrists where she had slashed them with a razor.

"OH my G-g-g-god!" cried Phoebe. She grabbed a couple towels to stop the blood flowing from her wrists and held them on tight.

"Phoebe, why would you do this? Please don't leave! Don't you dare leave me! I love you and I can't make it without you!" said Piper crying almost hysterically.

Piper tied the towels to her wrists and ran and got her cell phone. After dialing 911, she went back into the bathroom to apply more pressure to her wrists.

What seemed like a long time was only twelve minutes for the rescue squad to reach her. From the ambulance, Piper called Prue, but was so upset that all Prue could understand was to head to the hospital.

Prue flew through the emergency room entrance and found Piper standing beside her sister who was still unconscious. The bandages on Phoebe's wrists were all that was needed to see what had happened. When Piper saw Prue standing there, she ran over burying her head in her chest and crying hysterically.

"Ooooo, Prue, why, oh why? Why did she do it? Why couldn't we see it coming? Why, oh, why?" cried Piper.

"I don't know, I don't know, Piper, darling. She was so happy and full of life till..till just Sunday! What could have happened to her?" asked Prue questioning whether there even was God who could let this happen.

When Phoebe finally woke up the next morning, both of her sisters were there. She did not really recognizing them

for she was heavily sedated.

"Hi, Phoebes! It's us Piper and Prue," said Prue cheerfully.

"Ah, who, what happened, where am I?" said Phoebes.

"You had an accident and slipped in the bathroom. You're in the hospital now. Piper brought you here." replied Prue.

"Who did..." and Phoebes fell unconscious again.

The doctor had told them that she definitely had a case of depression, though her sisters could not help them with a cause for it. She was to remain heavily sedated and under medication and observation for a few more days. Even after she was awake most of the time, she barely recognized her sisters and had no sparkle left in her.

"Phoebe must have had a complete nervous breakdown. The doctors don't want to call it that until they've done more work with her, but I can't see any other reason Why else would she fall apart so fast?" wondered Prue a few nights later.

"Maybe all the pressure from our other worldly adversaries was just too much for her. Living in the constant dread of death, well, whoa. That could cause anyone to crack. Oh, God, I didn't mean that!" said a upset Piper.

"I know. Just hope that we don't need the power of all three of us anytime soon. We still have our active powers, but Phoebe was the one who was always looking behind our backs. We just lost our eyes and must be extra careful. I just can't see poor Phoebe in the condition she's in. My poor little sister!" sighed Prue as they both embraced and said a little prayer for her.

Phoebe had been moved to a mental hospital for observation and evaluation. She was more awake and recognized her sisters, but barely spoke to them. Besides being thoroughly ashamed of what she had done, she still showed no interest in her life or her family. She was sitting in the day room in her hospital overalls when her sisters came in.

"You're looking a lot better today, Phoebes," said Piper.

"Yea, right!" said Phoebes.

"We brought you some of your clothes and make-up. And the bookstore told us your job will be waiting for you when you... um... are ready," said Prue hesitantly.

"That'll be the day!" retorted Phoebe.

"We'll come back on Thursday to visit. Take care Phoebes," said Piper.

"Bye, Phoebe. Love you," added Prue.

"Whatever!" whined Phoebe as she continued to stare off into the distance.

"That is not our little sister in there. That is someone who has just given up all hope!" cried Piper. "And I just don't know

what to do about it!" she said as they headed home.

The next day Piper was going over her expansion plans with Dan. She wanted to open up into the next store and offer her patrons full dinner service.

"That architect did a marvelous job with the space he had to work with. My crew should be able to have it ready in six

weeks. I think that whole idea is great!" explained Dan.

"I think it's exciting, too. I can finally put my culinary training to use, while also offering the hottest new club in town. I really appreciate the enthusiasm and faith You put into it, Dan. Not to mention all of the work and effort. I love you!" said Piper with a kiss.

"Same here," replied Dan with a return kiss.

With that a chilly breeze hit Piper and she shivered.

"Are you all right, Piper? You shivered, just now," asked Dan.

"Oh, did I? Well, I gotta go," she said distracted.

"I thought we were going out?" asked a puzzled Dan.

"MMM. Not now, I'm not in the mood. Lot's of work to catch up on here. Bye, Dan," she told and sent him off with a quick peck on the cheek.

Dan left feeling rejected and wondering why this woman can change her mood so quickly. Otherwise, she had a fairly even flowing temperament, not like poor Phoebe.

Back her office Piper looked down at her building plans. "This is ridiculous. My sisters went into hock to get me this far. I'll never get the extra business to afford all of these changes. It'll never work!" she cried as she ran out of the club freezing everyone in disgust.

Prue was home looking for some dinner among the leftovers when she heard the door slammed and several things

being knocked off their usual resting place. When Prue looked in the living room the things that had been disturbed

were frozen in mid-air after they had been knocked off the table by Piper, who had stamped up the stairs.

Prue went up to Piper's room finding Piper sprawled out on her bed crying hysterically.

"Piper, what happened? Did you and Dan have a fight?" asked Prue.

"No, but we might as well have had one. I'm go good for him. He'll never love me once he finds out I'm a witch. And all that planning we did to expand P3, it won't work. I'll never be successful with it. I might as well get rid of the club. What do I know about running one?" cried Piper.

"Piper, dear. What brought this on? It was always your dream to open a restaurant and now you lost that dream and drive? Now you sound like...like..." Prue couldn't say it.

"Phoebe. Go ahead and say it. I'm going to end up, just like my CRAZY sister. Just GO away and leave me alone!" yelled Piper.

"All right. I'll leave you for now. Try and settle down, I may need you later," said Prue trying to figure something out.

"No one NEEDS me!" cried Piper.

Prue headed up to the attic. "Both of my sisters can't loose all faith and hope in less than a month. We haven't had any

of these types of problem in our family that I am aware of. There must be an otherworldly explanation. I wish Phoebes was here. She knows the Book of Shadows better than any of us."

Prue poured over the book for an hour. Finally, "AH, ha. There exists a demon who can control the amount of hope that

someone has. He can increase it until the impossible seems possible beyond reasonable logic or he can drive the person into absolute hopelessness. That is what is probably happening to us. If I don't stop it, we could all wind up like Phoebe, with no hope what so ever. The poor dear," Prue wrote down the spell to break his hold and headed to Piper's room.

Piper had fallen to sleep and Prue shook her awake.

"Whoa, what do you want?" complained Piper.

"I think a demon is driving us into depression. We need to go see Phoebe right away. We can cure her and you and

vanquish the demon with one spell. Come on, Piper. Please move it!" urged Prue.

"Oh all right. I'll come, but it's not going to work. Just watch. Life is just as I see it, nothing worth venturing into. Stay where you are..." said Piper complaining all the way to the hospital.

It was late, but with Piper's help they sneaked into Phoebe's room.

"Now what?" said Phoebe.

"I know which demon is attacking us. Piper is starting to feel like you," said Prue quietly.

"So I'm right! Piper is just realizing that life stinks. No spell is going to change that. That magic never really works," yelled Phoebe as she turned to the wall to ignore her sisters. .

"Phoebe is right, let's go home," said Piper turning to leave.

"NO! We are going through with this incantation and then let's she what happens. Now everyone read a verse and I will start.:

Bring back hope to life."

Phoebe, "Banish from our heart strife."

Piper, "We felt as much as we can bear."

Prue, "Send him far away from here."

A cold wind blew through the room causing everyone to shiver. A grey faced demon appaered behind them struggling with some magical bonds.The shiviering windturned into a cyclone and the demon was sucked through a vortex on the far end of the room.

Both Piper and Phoebe got weak at the knees and came to looking very, very frightened.

Piper said, "What am I doing here? I was going over my plans with Dan and then, now I am here in the hospital with Phoebe. Owww, Prue, what is going on here, did you put me in here?"

Phoebe looked very scared," Hospital? Why am I in a mental ward?" Then she looked at the bandages on her wrists. "No. No. NO! I wouldn't ...I couldn't.. Piper, Prue, NOOO!"

Phoebe collapse in a heap as both of her sisters comforted her. "It's not your fault sweetie. Some demon got to you. You felt desperate, but you weren't yourself. Everything will be all right. Everything will be all right." said Prue.

Phoebe just rocked in her arms crying like a baby.

It took another week before the hospital was willing to release Phoebe. She wasn't on any more medication, but she would still be on an outpatient basis for months.

Back in her room, she felt safe for the first time since she woke up from the spell. On her wrists were just another set of marks and scars from their demon fighting battles. She didn't want them removed, she needed to keep reminding herself that anything was possible from a demon. Being a witch was now her life and she was determined to be strong, vigilant and very, very careful. As long as she had her sisters she knew they could remain the Charmed Ones

THE END


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